We, a team of three other teachers and I, are defending a 21st Century Grant proposal tomorrow afternoon. I am little stressed out about this. We will be asked clarifying questions about our proposal, certain members of the panel do not want to hear from a certain member of our group at all (he is to be silenced with my gentle punch to his leg when he tries to be long winded with an answer), and other members may be targeted for questions because of their suspicions about who the driving personality was for the grant idea. All of this because they want us to be a united front; a team of individuals who are working toward a common goal of increasing student achievement through systematic integration of technology and 21st century skills into our curriculum. Would they do this to their students? I certainly hope not!
And so I am trying to strike a balance. I have been working on this grant for three months, with my team members: late nights researching that cut into my morning run time because I am too tired to get up, late afternoon meetings that keep me away from my kids who valiantly ride the school bus home every day; causing me to rush through homework, dinner and baths so that I can makeup a run in the afternoon…you get the idea. My happy, comfortable schedule of alarm, coffee and a run has been jacked up!
How do we find balance? When do we make the time to be our healthiest, sanest and whole? I had to find it in the morning again and make my day more efficient. Then I struggle with why I cram so much into a day that I need to hire an efficiency expert to help me plan to work smarter instead of harder. I delegate and ask for help when and where I can let go of total control but our lives just seem to get busier and busier. Sometimes all you can do is say, “Not me, not today.” And then it feels like you are letting someone down because you aren’t the super human you want people to think you are? UGH!!!
Running brings balance to my life. It’s like meditation, yoga, hitting a heavy bag, and climbing a mountain all rolled into one activity…at least for me. I meditate by aligning my pace to my breath, I stay focused on a point in front of me as my yoga practice dictates, I pound the pavement with stronger legs, bones, and connective tissues, and I work my heart and lungs with every mile I complete; climbing hills and letting gravity pull me back down. Running is my balance. Running allows me to think in the moment and lets some of the stress that we deal with daily flow past me with the miles. I am not running from my stress, I am running in order to handle it.
Balance, it’s a work in progress. I hope you are finding yours.